


Bucky Barnes Assassinates Cringe Culture

by badboibuckyyy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BLM, Bucky Reads Fanfiction About Himself, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Social Issues Mentioned In Passing, Social Media, Wholesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29710440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboibuckyyy/pseuds/badboibuckyyy
Summary: In which Bucky Barnes discovers AO3, due to his husband Sam, and makes a new friend. Also, in which the hashtag #WinterSoldierIsOverParty trends on twitter for at least three hours.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Kudos: 26





	Bucky Barnes Assassinates Cringe Culture

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> Thanks for clicking on my fic.  
> I hope you enjoy this piece.  
> It was super fun to write.  
> There's a vague, out-of-context WandaVision spoiler near the end, for your knowledge. Do what you want with that. I'm not offended if you chose not to read further.  
> :D  
> Enjoy!

Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was ignorantly unaware of the existence of fanfiction the entirety of his life, until this February. That is, he wasn’t aware of a writing genre nearly everyone online was familiar with, partly because, at the time, he was nearing his one hundred and first birthday. Which is absolutely a valid excuse.

Most old people shut off their hearing aids the moment you mention queer ships… and I doubt your great-grandmother would like to see your AO3 history. Poor Granny Gertude, realizing her that her lovely great-grandchild is pulling out their fucking hair over Wanda Maximoff’s false reality, and has decided to turn off the TV to read some explicit-rated whump about the now-deceased Tony Stark. Yeah. Sometimes, it’s for the best our ancestors aren’t around.

But for real, is there anyone that old who is also fluent in tagging and fandom-speak? Well, if there is, I (a humble archivist seeking to immortalize this old man’s foray into fanfiction), would absolutely love it if you could drop their pseud. I just would like to thank that amazing senior citizen for their contribution and service to the fandom.

Anyways, he had no idea that the barista at the coffee shop below his apartment had an Archive of Our Own. Obviously, he had no idea that the barista had been observing him and his husband. He didn't know the barista’s pseud, because why the hell would he? 

He knew nothing about Levi Rhodes (also known as buckyboiii on most social media outlets), an sixteen year old queer Brooklynite, who was still figuring out his place in the world, and who was absolutely elated to share the same last name as Tony Stark’s former best friend. There was no way for Bucky to know the degree of fandom that Levi had for him. How would Bucky know about the Y/N fics featuring him that were hosted on this very website? 

The answer is obvious. Samuel Thomas Wilson, his boyfriend, introduced him to the world of self-inserts, Gary Stu OCs and Y/N fics. 

Because who else would dare?

//

Bucky, at the time, made a living through art. He penned poems, ghost-wrote love letters, and constructed his income through words. The memoir he wrote gained enough buzz to pay his gentrification-inflated rent. He was relatively well known for his work. Besides the obvious shock value appeal of a story of the man who assassinated both John F. Kennedy and Howard Stark, his memoir was well-written, enthralling and raw. Or so said Parul Sehgal of the New York Times Book Review. 

His vaguely celebrity-adjacent position meant he witnessed plenty of weird, parasocial shit. At most of his signing, some fan would proposition him, and not just for sex (though that wasn’t exactly uncommon. He looked pretty good for a hundred, and everyone wanted Steve Rogers sloppy seconds, apparently). Once, one of those Tumblr kids who wished the purge never happened asked him if he still did hit work. He politely recommended that this Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way-looking motherfucker read the part in his book where HYDRA brainwashed him into a choiceless triggerman. Ebony balked. Next thing he knew, he was the internet’s public enemy of the hour.

#TheWinterSoldierIsOverParty trended on Twitter for about three hours, in the U.S and Canada, but Bucky wasn’t exactly the kind of person who had Twitter. He could barely figure out how to “up-next” songs on Spotify. Sam brought the hashtag to his attention late on a frigid Saturday night. Bucky shrugged it off, and told Sam that he’d seen much worse.

“Is cancellation anything like being an internationally wanted terrorist? Will twenty heavily armed special operatives claiming to be one of these stands-”

“Stans. It’s stans, Buck. They’re very powerful. Especially online” Sam interrupted, but Bucky continued regardless.

“Not important. Will Stanleys with machine guns cuff me and haul me off to some Romanian military base? All cops are bastards because they have power to end the lives of vulnerable, marginalized people. I don’t think Stanleys have that power, Sam. I’m kind of hard to kill.” He stopped for a second. “Not because of my inherent white privilege. No. I’m a super-soldier. I’m also taller than you.”

“Shut up, Buck. What I mean is that some stans are like the cops of the internet. They often abuse their power and platforms. There’s nothing wrong with liking something, but when you hurt others who you’ve deemed problematic for no reason…”

“Sam.” Bucky stared at his husband. “My entire life has not been problematic? Are you insinuating waking up that every five years to be re-brainwashed, and then forced to murder some important historical figure to alter history to fit the ideals of science fascists is a completely acceptable way to live the majority of your life?”

“No, but I’m saying these people are wrong for writing you off.” Sam sighed. His tone turned serious. “They don’t even know you.”

At that, Sam’s phone buzzed.

“Who’s that?” Bucky asked as Sam. Despite their constant bickering, their relationship was healthy, loving and open. There was no room for dishonesty, unless it was part of some elaborate prank Sam saw on YouTube.

“Oh.” Sam’s jaw was basically on the carpet.

“What?” Bucky leaned forward. 

Sam let out an amused chuckle.

“You have a defense, apparently. I mean, that makes sense, all you did was tell some edgelord with four x’s and two underscores in their Twitter handle that you don’t murder people for money. But there’s this website, called Archive of our Own.”

“What? What’s it an archive of?”

“Our Own. AO3. You really don’t spend much time online, huh?”

Buck hung his head. “Well, apparently you don’t need to end the search with “thank you” when you google something. That was surprising.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Yes. I’m not that bad at technology. I’m terrible, which on the hierarchy of skill levels, is slightly above abysmal. Now, what were you saying about that Archive?”

“It’s the largest and most popular web archive for fanfiction.”

“Stop using made-up words.” Bucky responded.

“Fanfiction is not that nonsensical, actually.”

(At this point, the archivist feels entitled to remind the reader that both Sam and Bucky have not read this piece of writing, and they hopefully never will. Sam would definitely change his opinion about the nonsensicalness of fanfiction if he knew.)

(Oh, if only he knew. Anyways…)

“Fanficiton is when an author takes real life fictional material, such as Yo Gabba Gabba or Gerard Way, and creates art surrounding them. Such as a story in which Foofa is trapped in an alternate universe where she is connected to her soulmate with a red string…. Or a podcast where the members of My Chemical Romance have passionate, polyamorous love affairs with each other,” Sam looks at Bucky, who’s nodding alone. “I’m not speaking from experience. I promise.”

“Mhmm.” 

“Well, anyways, this kid, who uses your name in his AO3 pseud for some reason, wrote a fanfiction about you.”

“Oh? Really?” Bucky is suddenly intrigued. Sam hands him the phone. He scrolls past the tags and summary, and begins to read out loud. 

(Hey, don’t hate on him, because even I, your handsome, snazzy archivist, only started reading tags a few months ago. Hate on me instead. Wait, no. Don’t. My ego is fragile)

Bucky Barnes & Male Reader by buckyboiii

_Rated Teen and Up_

_Y/N wakes up, and runs his fingers through his short curly hair. It’s morning. The sun fills his apartment-_

“What is a y-slash-n?” Bucky asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Your name.”

“Oh.” He continued to read

_And Bucky is asleep besides him, snoring loudly. Bucky gives Bucky a sharp poke. Bucky opens his eyes, to the sight of Bucky’s face._

_“Good morning Buck!” Bucky says to Bucky._

_“Oh Bucky. You look absolutely resplendent in the morning light.” Bucky says to Bucky._

_Resplendent? Did you learn that word in your creative writing class?” Bucky laughs._

_“No, honey. I learned it from looking at you.”_

_Bucky shares a long kiss with Bucky, despite Bucky’s morning breath. They hold each other close, and all is right in the world._

“Huh.” Bucky looks back at Sam. “What did you say about it being non-nonsensical? That resolution is one lazy deus ex machina”

“I’ve read a lot better. But scroll all the way down.”

_Hey! Thanks for reading! If you liked my work, please leave a kudos or a comment. I gathered the ideas for this fic, because, you’ll never guess this, but THE Bucky Barnes, husband of two Captain Americas, the former notorious Winter Soldier, he gets coffee at the shop I’m a barista at! His order is black coffee and a plain bagel with cream cheese. I’ve never said more than a few words to him. I really look up to him, and he’s just an absolutely stunning human being, from the metal arm to the punk rocker hair. I bet still he punches Nazis._

“Oh…” Bucky glanced at Sam. “I know what I’m doing tomorrow.”

“Not getting coffee?” Sam joked.

“Oh contraire, mon frère." He smiled. “I’m going to make this kid’s day.”

Sam stared at his husband and sighed. “That seems like a bad idea. For a number of reasons. What if this kid is a crazy stalker? It's risky, Buck.”

“Guess I’m carrying Old Man Roger’s legacy as well, huh?” Bucky chuckled. Sam sighed heavily once more, before he stood, planted a kiss on Bucky’s stubbled cheek, and disappeared into the apartment’s single bathroom.

“I, too, have a shield. It’s called the patriotism of basic human decency!” Bucky shouted to the closed door.

There was no response.

//

“C-can I get you anything?” The boy in front of Bucky was (you guessed it, reader. You’re so smart! You get a chocolate chip cookie!) Levi Rhodes. Bucky noticed for the first time that he was visibly sweating. Yup. This was definitely the author.

“Are you able to take a break, young man?” Bucky says, and immediately wants to not have just said the phrase “young man.” Wow. His age is showing. 

Levi nods so quickly Bucky worries the boy’s head will fly off his neck.

“I’m going on break!” He shouts to a purple-haired woman who is way too close for that volume to be normal, and throws off his apron. Bucky, heads for the door, and Levi takes two steps for every one he takes.

They exited the coffee shop, and made their way towards an empty outdoor table. Bucky sat down first. When they both were seated, Bucky looked his fanboy in the eyes.

“Your name is Levi, right? You’re buckyboiii? He asked.

Levi gulped and his eyes landed somewhere on the concrete. “Why are you asking me that, Mr. Barnes?”

“Because I wanted to thank you.” He was smiling a gentle smile, and finally Levi made eye contact. “We live in a crazy universe. There’s so much going on, constantly. Threats, and violence, and whatever the fuck Wanda’s up to. Have you been keeping up with the broadcast? I sure haven’t. Anyways, I read your fanfiction and I felt happy. Now, there’s definitely some work you could do on your writing, but still. I’ve never seen someone write nice things about me.”

“You don’t understand. You’re the reason I’m here, Mr. Barnes.” Levi said, and Bucky felt the weight of his words. Then, words poured out of the boy like water from a broken dam.

“I’m a trans kid. My parents deadname every time they talk to me. And when I see someone like you, queer, confident, creative, talented and who isn’t perfect, who is human and makes big, scary mistakes with consequences…. It makes me feel like I have worth. Like there’s a place for me. And your husband is the face of our country. Our country is full of division and systemic oppression and hatred for people like us. But there’s also so much good, Mr. Barnes. You inspire me to see that good. To be that good.”

“Thank you so much, Levi.” Bucky smiled, tears pricking his eyes. “If you ever need a place to stay…” He scribbles a note on a piece of paper and slides it to him. “That’s our address. We’re here for you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.”

“Please, call me Bucky.” He smiles, and remembers his final point. “But uh, I’d love it if you could take down that fanfic about me. I’m a real person, you know. I’m not a character like Gerard Way or Foofa.”

Levi nods again. “Of course. I felt weird doing it… I just thought people would like it.”

“Well, I did. But it also made me feel iffy. Thank you for respecting that, Levi.”

“Thank you, Mr. B-Bucky.” He is grinning. “I hope you have a great day. Oh, and by the way, #TheWinterSoldierIsOverParty isn’t trending anymore. A bunch of former Avengers have been tweeting about how you did nothing wrong, the money you’ve raised for Black Lives Matter, humanitarian aid and LGBTQAI+ causes. Now, I’m pretty sure #ItWasAgathaAllAlong is at number one. I can’t believe she-” Levi stops. “You haven’t seen it?”

Bucky shakes head and stands. He watches Levi walk back inside the coffee shop, and remembers that he’s late for something very important.

//

“Hey Buck,” Old Man Rogers smiled his toothless smile at his ex. Bucky doesn’t bristle or anything, they had a good thing together, but it wasn’t til the end of the line. He found Sam instead. He looked around the nursing home and smiled. 

“Hey Steve.” He and Sam said at almost the same time, but just out of sync

“Steve, do you know about fanfiction?” Bucky mentioned. Sam gave him a look like _I opened a goddamn can of worms, didn’t i ___

____

____

Bucky smiles back, and plops ten double-sided pages on Steve’s lap.

“This is a fanfiction. In it, Loki’s your dad. It’s wacky, but beautiful. There’s a fair amount of sex. And magic. And shapeshifting. Very good stuff. Give it a read.”

Steve chuckles. “You say this like I didn’t know Tony. Believe me, he took great pleasure in reading me Stony fanfiction, before that whole fling ended.” Steve looked at the two men, who both laughed.

“You’re pretty spry for an old man, you punk.” Bucky teased Steve.

“Considering you’re only two years younger than me… shut it. Jerk.” Steve responded.

//

Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was ignorantly unaware of the existence of fanfiction the entirety of his life, until this February. That is, he had no idea of the level of fandom, of dedication and influence, that his life has had on people in his city. He found that his age was no excuse, that he could delve into the world of fanfiction with reckless abandon.

His AO3, unarmed_and_grasping, gained significant popularity. He wrote multifandom explorations, and novel-length projects written in beautiful prose. No one, except Levi, knew it was him. Sam, of course, supported his husband. Steve watched from his room at the nursing home, laughing quietly to himself about how everything worked out.

And me?

Well, I’m just an archivist. I’m just here to tell this story.

What a story it was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you enjoyed that piece of wholesome fluffy crack, please leave some kudos or a comment. This poor serotonin-devoid archivist needs it.  
> I'm @mo_is_neurodiverse on Instagram if you'd like to follow me. Have a great day and take care of yourself!


End file.
